A friend told me to grieve; to do whatever it takes to get through this... even begging him to come back. Saturday night I drunk texted him, and he obviously never responded. Today I just decided to brave through all my apprehensions and send that "Hey you" text. I never expected him to respond again. And the moment I saw his name come up on my notifications, I just started bawling.
I told him I just wanted to say hi, how are you. He said he's okay and said good night. I guess that was it. He hates me now. I hate my life. I hate it. I hate myself. Oh my gosh. I hate myself so much. Why did I leave him in the first place. Why why why. I hate myself.
I didn't actually just want to say hi. I wanted to say: I love you. I miss you. Please take me back. :(
