Indispensible

Here I go again with my jealous fits. It’s not as if I wasn’t invited – nor as if I am a girlfriend – nor do I want to. But I’ve always seen him as my best guy friend and I feel like I’m already unimportant to him. I basically just feel neglected and not valued and it’s making me crazy and jealous and so dramatic. Hmmmppphh..

So much for my first blog for 2013. Well hello there world. Welcome to my jealous and possessive life!

All I really want is to feel as if I’m important to somebody. But I never feel that way anymore. Apparently, it’s true what they say – no one is indispensable. And pretty much, I’m in the most indispensible phase of my life. It’s not even remotely funny.

I guess this all boils down to the lack of esteem I’ve been feeling lately. Maybe because I’ve been as fat as hell. But I’m going to change that this year. Operation: crash diet even if it kills me! Hopefully, by the middle of the year, I’d be feeling more like my usual jolly self and grab life by the reins again. Please let this just be a phase that I never have to go through again in the near future.

For the mean time, I really need to sleep if I hope to go to work on time tomorrow. Errrr – I mean later. Calling on to my happy vibes to soothe out my jealous self and sleep this all off. Everything, they say, is better in the morning. Cue sappy love music (OH GOSH WHYYYYYYYYY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF) and I am off.

P.S.

The one happy point of my day though was when I got a very random message from my *cough cough* first love (EEEEEWWWWW I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! OH YES I DID DARN IT) which made me really giddy as if I was an obsessive teenager WHICH I WAS OBVIOULY NOT (this is my blog and no one can say otherwise). How boring is my life?! Tell me?! The best I can do is moon (NOT EVEN THAT) over a supposedly long forgotten unrequited love! But all the same, he still makes my heart go *dugeun dugeun* harhar