Hello, It's Me Part 1 of 2

I guess it's been a while since I've been back - again! Actually, it's been 11 months and 13 days to be exact. My life must have been running smooth sailing these past few months right? Wrong.

So I celebrated my 24th birthday a few days ago. And guess what? It wasn't as special as I would have liked it to be. It basically just went by un-celebrated. Am I not important enough? Well, I guess not.

On Relationships

This year, while I have made quite a few friends, my relationship with my old friends are slowly deteriorating which I am partly to blame. Basically, I think I am the glue that sticks everyone together - or not. But I got really tired of adjusting my life just to suit others' schedules and what not's so I just stopped.

Around mid-year, I really got hurt by what a friend said after I just stopped. He asked why I have become like this, and that I have changed. He hoped that I'm happy with the choices I make. The comment could be taken kindly, but at that point, it just sounded accusing and righteous. Don't I have the right to change and get tired of asking for their time? Of course I have! And I hated him for a while for saying that to me. In the first place, I already felt guilty about what I've been doing. It's not in my character. This is me - the person who is always trying to be the center of attention, the one who is tirelessly there for those who need me. But then I decided that people are already taking me for granted and so I did what I had to do. And I hate people who are contrary to my decisions. As if I have the social and moral obligation to never change and be their doormat. Well, guess what? I want to be done with that.

And so... it's almost a new year, and I am still acting like that. In a way, it opened up my world to a whole lot of other people. But yeah, I miss them - my friends. But until I could trust them again, I don't think I could ever go back to the same old person they knew then

On Career

In one of my posts many eons ago, I mentioned that I was switching careers at the beginning of the years. Well, I have indeed. I left my old high-paying low-level job in a low-level company for a low-paying low-level in a multi-national company. I can't say I am happier now. But I've learned a lot in this past year. But basically, I'm getting fed up with the job - most especially with my manager.

**to be continued**