Those Little Imperfections

Because a face without freckles is like a sky without the stars. Why waste a second not loving who you are. Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable. They show your personality inside your heart, reflecting who you are. (Freckles, Natasha Bedingfield)

Over and over again...


We've been through this a hundred times before. You guys asking me if I was alright after I post some silly papansin things online, and I say I'm fine, I'm great, I'm wonderful over and over again; when in fact, all I really want is a big, tight hug, a shoulder to cry on, and to talk about all those seemingly silly papansin little things that actually bothers me a lot.

But when I am actually noticed, I clam up and claim that everything is great. I know I'm a drama queen, but why can't I even share what I really really really feel when it matters most?

Don't get me wrong though. I appreciate the effort. In fact, I revel in it. It's where I remain normal between life and insanity. Although sometimes - most of the time actually - I really yearn for people to go out of their way to cheer me up and offer me comfort even if I can't tell them anything.

***

Hormones...


I'd like to blame my hormones for all that I've been feeling recently, but I know I can't do that. I'm turning a year older in a few days though, and I can't say I'm very happy about that. Looking back, what have this past year done for me aside from make me fall apart, and then me trying to get back the pieces together?

***

Career Shift


Have I mentioned I'm planning to do a career shift by the start of next year? I recently accepted a job offer yesterday - it was a hard decision to make by the way. Between the fear of exploring new options, and the regret of letting go a well-paying, no-pressure job, I had to think twice, thrice and even four times.


With school workload and existing travel arrangements that I have, I'm seeing a very hectic future ahead of me. But I've been craving for this kind of challenge for a long time now, I hope it would finally work on me.


But still, I hope you guys would wish me luck in this new path I'm taking. Cross fingers.

***

Faith


I blame my lack of religious attachments these past few months for my misery.