Forever 21

In an hour or so, I'm turning 22. Gosh. The last time I had the same numbers for my age was 11 years ago. I was still in 5th grade then, I guess. Oh how time passes by so fast. How did I end up here so soon? I'm 3 years away from being in my mid-twenties. OH GOD. 

But well, the truth is, there's really no big deal about turning 22 (unlike being 18 or 20). I guess I'm just anxious about what will happen on my "big day". Will my friends remember? Should I treat everyone? I really don't know what I want to happen! It's weird really. It's the first birthday that I feel like I should really be financially independent already ~ but why am I still so emotionally detached to people? It's not a bad thing though. I think it's great that I have so many good relationships shared. 

I should really not make a big deal out of this right? I'm just stressing myself out of nothing. Why can't most birthdays just be like a normal day? I've actually contemplated about going out of town alone on my birthday, somewhere I've never been to before, to a place that no one knows me and vice versa. But I don't think I can do that whole "Eat Pray Love" route yet. :) 

But what the heck. 22. OMG. Haha. I guess imagination is really far from reality, huh? When I was still in high school, I think I saw myself as a 22 year old success. That I've lost a lot of weight, had a very high-paying job, living independently, and all that jazz. But look at me now. I'm still hopeful though. Yes I am. I am 22 and I will start doing everything I can to reach my dreams. Itaga sa bato! :)

Happy Birthday to me! I can't be forever 21 now, can I? Haha

The Quarter Life Crisis

I found this awesome essay online. At least 80% of what is written here, I can relate with. It's like the author read my thoughts and felt my feelings. Perfect.


***


The Quarter Life Crisis
by: Unknown


It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.


***


If you can relate to this, raise both of your feet. You're welcome.

Bouncing Back

How is it that it was only last night that I was ranting about how miserable I am?!

I find it funny how life has a way of slapping us in the face and making us realize how lucky we are, and how grateful we really ought to be. What was that I said about friends not being there? Now that I've slept and thought about it, maybe it's not the people that's wrong, maybe it's just the circumstances that we are all in. In the end, I guess the most important thing is that we all feel the same way about friendship - we value it and cherish it. We don't always have to be together to say we're friends. Nor do we all have the time to really dig deep into the hearts of our friends when we could just share it, right? Well, it's kinda hard but it'll be a win-win situation for all right?

So yes. Fuck being fat. Fuck being miserable. We only live once (unless you believe in reincarnation), so let's just stop looking for reasons to be unhappy all the time. We don't often meet friends who will always be there despite the time and distance, so when we do meet them, make the most of it and just stop being selfish. The world is a beautiful place, and we all have a shot at happiness if we seize every fucking adventure in life. Hell, yeah!